Develop Your Psychic Abilities

Black and abstract cubist painting.
“Seance of One”


Most of us use only half of the brain we were born with, the left hemisphere, with its logical, analytical, and rational functions.  We rely on the left brain for language, reasoning and the theory that dry cleaning chicken salad will extend the expiration date.

This article will help you develop the powers of the primary brain, the right brain.  This side of the brain gives us intuition and feelings.  The right brain gives us the awareness that there is something behind first impressions.  And also in front of them.  The right brain “knows,” the left brain wonders if the plumber charges double on weekends.

Students in psychic development are counseled to follow first impressions.  Even if the first impression has a restraining order.  By expanding your natural inborn psychic senses you will “see” people differently, like they’re giant piñatas.  You will be able to intuit what people will say next, especially after you ask, “What will you say next?”

You can tap this inner knowledge easily and effortlessly.  I call it Superconsciouness.  It is like having one hundred eyes, fifty for distance and fifty for reading.

We All Have Psychic Abilities

Secure within each of us exists the potential to expand our consciousness beyond our current awareness.  The phone rings but before you answer it you know it’s uncle Kepner asking to borrow your arch supports.  You see a stranger on the street dressed as a Pastrami and know they will meet a person in a rye bread costume.

For lack of a better expression, we call this power “psychic ability.”  Everyone has it.  Few outside of Pittsburgh know how to use or command it.

You might ask, “Why should I want to develop my psychic abilities?”  In short, to land a show on basic cable.  Psychic powers assist you in creating your future.  You can trademark performances of you bending a sea cucumber.  Naptime becomes a $200 “retrocognition fee.” Finally, change your name to Wozzeck and clients will eat up your sage advice.

Our Two Selves Contain Our Psychic Powers

In you are two selves.  Your outer self reasons, calculates and forgets to set the alarm.  Your inner self records all that happens and responds as Japanese anime characters.  Tapping your inner self often proves difficult and requires a Netflix premium account.

The inner self perceives and learns differently from the outer self.  The inner self learns through repetition, reward and squirming.  The outer self learns from doing six to ten years hard time for joyriding in a backhoe.

Our Perceptive and Projective Skills

We develop our psychic skills by harmonizing our inner and outer selves.  When the outer self sings soprano and the inner self sings baritone, our conscious and unconscious minds become one and our clothes fit better.

The two major psychic skills you will develop I call perceptive and projective skills.  Perceptive skills allow you to take in information, energy and stray Great Danes.  Among your perceptive skills are ESP, Clairvoyance and guessing how many legs the elephant has.

Optical illusion of an elephant with multiple legs.

Projective skills enable you to control the radiating of your vibrations and the anti-freeze in your car.  Among them are Telepathy, Levitation and the ability to triple the size of a condo without paying an extra deposit.

Projective skills enable you to control the radiating of your vibrations and the anti-freeze in your car.  Among them are Telepathy, Levitation and the ability to triple the size of a condo without paying an extra deposit.

Training Your Perceptive Skills

Now you are ready to train your psychic skills.  In this section, I will teach you how to develop your perceptive skills.  Perceptive skills allow you to receive impressions, thoughts or telemarketing calls from people, places or seat cushions.

Understand that perception occurs on a different level than the intellect, perception occurring in the mezzanine and intellect in the orchestra pit.

Think of these exercises as games and have fun with them.  Or, think of them as a misuse of resources and study packaging science. 

Telepathic Receiving

Telepathic receiving develops organically between emotionally connected people.  For example, one partner may finish the other’s sentence.  Meanwhile, the other partner is shouting blocking instructions during the roller derby.  With training, you can telepathically receive from a light socket. 

Exercise:  Assemble a group of magistrate judges in a room-8 to 10 is a good number.  Before you leave the room, ask them to agree on bail if your outer self joyrides in a backhoe.  When they agree, come back into the room.  Then, yell “Stroopwafel!” and do the Cha-cha.  Finally, ask the judges to just tell you the bail amount and avoid wasting everybody’s time. 

Sensing people and Things

Everybody has an energy field as individual as a fingerprint.  These auras (from the Ancient Greek αὔρα, meaning “whooping cough”) can be sensed by others, especially toxicologists.  Using our proximity sense, we can figure out a person’s location in relation to ourselves.  With practice, we can determine their position in relation to the president of the Teamsters Union.

Exercise:  Working with a partner, blindfold yourself.  Have your partner remover his or her shoes and put on scuba gear.  Then, have the person goose-step around the room while you are talking.  Say “stop” and the person should jog in place while breathing through the respirator.  Can you “feel” the person’s vibrations?  If so, have your partner put their wallet on the table and leave the room.  In a later article, we’ll discuss why psychically replacing your debit card is so difficult. 

Training Your Projective Skills

Projection is the process of molding an idea, supplying the thought with suitable force and then accusing your spouse of cheating with the Amazon driver.

Whether you are aware or not, you are already projecting.  Everyone does.  Take a moment and critically review your environment.  Did your surroundings double book your table?  Did your situation try to upsell the sparkling water?  What you’ve seen is the result of your projections. 

The goal is to hone your projective skills and improve your life.  And get cheesecake on the house.

Telepathic Sending

Telepathy involves both perception and projection.  However, beginners at telepathy often have to pay a $3 convenience fee.  Some telepaths appear to receive better, others send more easily while others are proficient baton twirlers.  With practice, you can bypass the fee and master the Palm Spin But Up.

Exercise:  This is a straightforward application called the “gravy boat.”  Choose a subject but keep them unaware.  You can do this exercise at a party choosing a stranger.  Place a vat of gravy on the dance floor (Hollandaise sauce works in a pinch).  Focus on a distinct image of the person stepping into the vat of gravy, casually and unmindfully.  If your projection is successful, the person will wade into the vat and do the backstroke.

Psychic Healing

Psychic healing has been controversial and mocked because so few understand it.  The dispute stems from the World Health Organization’s refusal to:

  1. Recognize golf tees as surgical instruments.
  2. Accept death as a meditative state.

In psychic healing, the sender mentally transmits energy to the recipient.  How the recipient uses this energy is up to them.  Some use it to become trapeze artists while others use it as mosquito repellant.  Nonetheless, sending healing energy is worthwhile as it is cheaper than sending flowers.

Exercise:  Ask a person who isn’t feeling well to receive the healing.  Someone with a migraine or who has received a large inheritance is a good subject because these conditions are often temporary.  I’ve also found that healing is expedited when the subject doesn’t have a family member with “Gaspipe” or “Icepick” as a middle name.

Ask the person to relax by assuming the mindset of an accountant.  Clear your mind and put oven mitts on your hands.  Then, place your hands on the spot that needs healing and begin to yodel.  After a few minutes, remove your hands and warble aggressively.

If you’ve healed successfully, the subject’s mind, body and spirit will be in sync but in different area codes.


We have spent time together in this article developing abilities to enrich your life.  Apply these skills to your own life or use them as an ointment.  Remember, follow your first impression unless it’s wearing a Hazmat suit. 

Rating: 1 out of 5.

2 thoughts on “Develop Your Psychic Abilities

  1. The right side of the brain is more crucial in cognitive functioning but the left side is our anchor, the part of us that is held stable while the right side goes wild. In thinking about new things, we often lean on the left side because memory is often dependent on that side, and we have to connect the present world to the memorized world in order to think coherently. It’s all part of the plan.

    — Catxman

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks for the insight, Catxman!

      Liked by 1 person

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